Ten Things I Hate About You

I found a piece of interesting and well-written poem regarding Thai-language newspaper nowadays printed in "editor’s note" column of Guru magazine (page 4, Vol. 3 No. 17; April 27 – May 3, 2007) – a free weekly English-language Bangkok lifestyle & Entertainment magazine distributed by the Post Publishing Company Limited (Bangkok Post newspaper.) In fact, this poem is based on a 1999 teen-flick Hollywood movie "10 Things I Hate About You" which is in turn based loosely on Shakespeare’s classic comedy "The Taming of the Shrewd." I really love the way the writer portrayed the so-called Thai tabloid-like newspaper in all aspects, just read it and you’ll know what I mean.

Ten Things I Hate About You

I hate the way your dirty ink dirties my fingers
And the way you become just another paper-bag for my meatballs at the street vendor.
I hate the way you print pictures of dead bodies, right underneath half-nude young ladies.
I hate that you report ridiculous stories.
I hate your big dumb fonts
And the way you grab my attention.
I hate you so much I let my dog poo on you.
It even makes me rhyme… badly.

I hate it…
I hate the way you exploit and exaggerate stories.
I hate it when you put ugly blocks on the chest of half-nude young ladies.
I hate it when you print maimed and bloody bodies;
Even worse when you make me turn to the celebrity gossip stories.
I hate it that you’re around everyday
And the fact that you make more advertising revenue than I do.
But mostly I hate the way I can’t stop reading your sensationalized stories, or staring at the half-nude young ladies;
Not even close;
Not even a little bit;
Not even at all.

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